I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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