at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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