hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
