i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
i think im in europe. pls send help
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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