next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
