Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
