Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
