why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
