So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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