ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
