I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
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When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
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I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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