return my video game
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
