it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
