I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Randomize
