why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
