have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
