Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My ass is underappreciated
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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