this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
