My hair reeks of homosexuality.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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