No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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