garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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