He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
