I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Never joke about your clitoris.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
