Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry plur808 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.

Fav 8 992 2169
share tweet
(419): View more from Ohio

somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...

Fav 22 2930 4033
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(509): View more from Washington

I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM

(909): View more from California

I'm scared to ask why.....

(509): View more from Washington

1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.

Fav 13 5184 1285
share tweet
(+33): View more from France

On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."

Fav 26 8278 1875
share tweet
(519): View more from Ontario

Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.

Fav 12 6968 2291
share tweet
(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

You could give me a blowjob later? :)

(1-321): View more from Florida Space Coast

I meant do something romantic..

(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Blowjob In the moonlight?

Fav 13 6614 1853
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(423): View more from Tennessee

In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name

Fav 3 3342 1019
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(734): View more from Michigan

I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths

Fav 3 850 654
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister

Fav 0 66 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT