My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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