my phone needs a breathalizer
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize