She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We have so much sex to catch up on
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
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