why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
