We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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