we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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