Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
