Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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