Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Less talking, more tequila
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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