Sponge bath it is.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
