I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
