Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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