i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
its not stalking. its research.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
