I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
