i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
