i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
