Me too!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
