Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Soap is not a condiment
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
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