this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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