There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
