he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
