it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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