dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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