So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
