Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Randomize
