It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
