so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i wish my penis had a tongue
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
