Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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