I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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