Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
