Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
