The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Randomize
