Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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