I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
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He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
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I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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