i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
