You work out of a Hotel?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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