I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
